“Online dating is something that has been extremely successful. It works, it has a lot of horror stories, but if you want to go that way you have to be willing to take the risks that come with it,” says Inga Verbeeck, Managing Director of high-end matchmaker Berkeley International. “A lot of people don’t want to do that, especially when you’re particularly successful or well known, because that then becomes a lot more complicated.”
After her family’s €100m steel trading company, of which she was CEO, sold up to an American equity company, Verbeeck set her sights on a project that would take her away from her roots. “I wanted to be in a business that was international, that was human relationship-based in the broadest sense of the word,” she says. And having split from her husband five years previous and encountered first hand the challenges of meeting new people, she soon identified her calling in the matchmaking business.
[W]ith an average success rate of 75 percent, Berkeley’s results are far above and beyond those in the traditional online dating industry
Born over a coffee and a conversation with long-time friend and Berkeley International founder Mairead Molloy, Verbeeck first partnered with Berkeley on a consulting basis and later founded the firm’s Parisian agency. Now, just a few years down the line, Berkeley has become one of the go-to agencies for celebrities and C-suite executives in Europe and beyond looking for love.
Changing landscape
Since the turn of the 21st century, the dating industry has expanded at an annualised rate of 16 percent, and emerged from the crisis in better shape than it was beforehand. Choosing not to target the entirety of the world’s willing singletons, Berkeley has opted instead for the upper limits of the €2.2bn market opportunity.
“It’s not about being elitist; it’s just that there are tools and opportunities for different kinds of situation, and we’ve chosen to hone in on a certain niche,” explains Verbeeck. “I think quite often people in this bracket are concerned about whether someone likes them for the money or the image that they have, as opposed to the actual person they are, which really adds value to what we do.”
In an increasingly globalised world, where social media and the digital space have made many things instantly accessible, some have become asocial, says Verbeeck. “People live a digital life behind their computer screens, but they don’t reach out and meet people in the world as much as they used to. In a very similar sense, people that are very successful in business and in turn very driven, get to meet a lot of people, but almost always in a professional environment, and that’s a very hard place to start a relationship.”
A needle in a haystack
Online dating for the masses can justifiably be likened to a marketplace without regulations, where anyone can create whatever impression it is they so wish, without scrutiny and without consequences. “Matchmaking is a whole different story. Online dating is not secure, people can profile themselves however they wish and there’s no screening whatsoever. Effectively, you have to find a needle in a haystack,” says Verbeeck. “What we do is completely the opposite, we get to know our clients, we filter for our clients to search for compatible qualities, and, while chemistry is something we can never foretell, you generally have a certain intuition about who will fit with whom.”
Following an extensive screening process, Berkeley charts near enough every aspect of a person’s character before embarking upon the introductions stage. Here the firm will match a client with another they believe to be compatible, based 60 percent on practical elements and the rest on intuition, and hope the two are a match. “It’s a journey that we do together, and it’s a teamwork effort,” says Verbeeck. “The client has to be engaged, communicate with us and visa versa, and normally we can find the right person.”
The process in itself appears similar to that of headhunting, although the two do have a number of fundamental differences. Whereas headhunting by definition is an extremely rational and pragmatic process, matchmaking factors feelings and attraction into the equation, making for a more abstract element. “It’s kind of the same philosophy but with some different dimensions,” says Verbeeck.
Berkeley’s focus on high-end clientele has led Verbeeck to draw certain conclusions about the difficulties facing successful individuals in the dating scene, namely that there is a distinct correlation between success in business and difficulty in finding a partner. “I think when people are very successful – aside from a few exceptions – people work extremely hard, which means that they are soaked up in work-related environments most of the time and have less time to meet people and get out there.”
Opening doors
What’s more, Verbeeck makes a point of stressing the problems facing successful businesswomen when seeking a partner. “There are more and more successful women today, and so often it is these same women that find it difficult to find the right match. It’s an evolution that we’ve seen in the world, but one that has created a misunderstanding, because I believe a lot of men are quite intimidated by strong, successful women,” she says.
“It’s a perception that’s much more based on the image they have or their professional position,” says Verbeeck. “That’s something that we have to break through and fortunately we are in a situation where we can do that, because when we present clients, it’s on an anonymous basis. We can present a person rather than an image, and that way people are in a different mindset when they meet each other.”
Therefore, Berkeley effectively specialises in opening doors that otherwise would not be opened for clients. With an impressive network of contacts, spanning cities, countries and even continents, the firm brings together people who are often treading entirely separate career paths, who are suited nonetheless. And with an average success rate of 75 percent, Berkeley’s results are far above and beyond those in the traditional online dating industry.
One of the central factors underpinning Berkeley’s success ahead of its competitors is a strong understanding of what makes a successful relationship and a fitting philosophy to match. Verbeeck accepts that although similarities and common ground are crucial for a couple, the importance of differences and the diversity it can bring should not be underestimated. “I think, above all else, balance is extremely important to have in a successful relationship,” she says.
“Really, it’s extremely difficult to sketch the ideal person, and for that reason it’s a question that we avoid asking our clients. It’s important to have some ideas and decipher a framework, but it’s too problematic to match the ideal. Therefore, it’s our role to advise and guide clients, to let them experience and learn from themselves. Yes of course we’ll define a framework, but beyond that it’s about meeting people and understanding that you’re not starting a relationship with a wish list but with an actual person.”
With a wealth of experience and a keen understanding of relationship dynamics, Berkeley is well positioned to negotiate the complex business of matchmaking. Verbeeck’s belief is that business as a whole is returning to tangible things and that, increasingly, people are looking to connect with companies much like Berkeley, whose focus falls on the client above all else.